Every once in a while we find ourselves in a situation that goes beyond the limits we would like to set. It may be something as simple as not being able to say ‘no’ to a neighbor who wants to borrow your car, and maybe the car is returned late which in turn causes you to get delayed going to work. If you could have said, I will not let anyone borrow my car when I need it, it would have saved you a lot of trouble. A limit can then be defined as a situation where you have control enough to say ‘thus far and no more, or the buck stops here’. You are then in a position to negotiate and come up with some alternatives. There are very few things that you cannot set limits to and once these issues are settled, life would be a lot easier to live.

In our personal lives we have often encountered situations like the one mentioned above and those who have managed to set their limits have done well. For those who are still caught up in the circle of want versus need, take heart. You need to start slow and take it from there. Set yourself a time limit the next time your neighbor stops for a chat at a time most inconvenient for you. Give yourself say 3 minutes and then diplomatically tell them that this is really not a good time so, could they excuse you? This course of action will ensure that you have not caused anyone embarrassment, your relationship with that person is maintained and you can go about your job on time as it should be done.

In the business world, one might assume that setting a limit is not required because the boundaries of the discussion exist thanks to the market place. Unfortunately it does not work that way. When the economics are on a downward trend even a business negotiation or deal can go awry. Good and services can be checked out as people know what they are getting in terms of value for money with goods like homes or cars and services like a laundry service etc. but this complacency in assuming that the deal will not cross what they consider to be reasonable and fair is a wrong notion. Take a look at people who are regularly making bad deals. Why does that happen? It’s only because they did not set a limit for themselves saying that this would be as far as they would go and no further. If one is firm, then one has the strength to walk away. You can then enforce your limit even if the other party is not aware of it.

Remember that your opponent will have also set limits for himself and there is a limit beyond which they too will not go the same as you. Don’t let the situation get to a point where your patience is tested. Those who do try the limits of their patience end up exploding or getting really annoyed and causing more damage than accomplishing anything. So a good idea would be to find out your limit and stick by it. It might save you a lot of trouble and heartache.

Have you Ever Run Into Those Little Tyrants? The little guys who think they can step on everyone’s toes?

Did you realize that the only people who seem to be power-hungry are those who don’t have any. Once you attain power, it becomes a burden. This statement comes from many of those minds that rose to power, thinking that happiness would follow, and were highly disappointed.

There are some people who derive pleasure from ordering others around, but they’re just insecure people who have no real personal power: power over their own lives. People who run their own lives don’t need to run others’.

Ironically, though, as people rise in worldly power, they often lose power over their own lives, because they’ve got so many people to please and obligations to meet. When this happens, reasonable people can become Little Hitlers. Sometimes they stay like that until they find a way to again manage their own lives.

Frequently, when people lose power over their own lives, they begin to tyrannize themselves with perfectionism. Perfectionism, like workaholism, is one of those vices that masquerades as a virtue – it’s fear disguised as strength. There are people everyday who wake up and congratulate themselves on their perfectionism even when it was killing them – by contributing to their cardiovascular disease. Successful people, in particular, often swallow the myth that it’s their perfectionism that has put them on top, rather than their brains and passion. One reason they feed themselves this myth is because perfectionism is so difficult that they need to exaggerate its benefits in order to be motivated to maintain it.

The popular clinical psychology perspective on perfectionism is that it’s initiated by demanding parents. However, many disagree with this conventional, blame-the-parents explanation. Their view is that perfectionism is just another mask for the fear of not being enough. It’s for insecure people who think that only the most perfect among us will prevail.

Similar to perfectionism, and just as self-destructive, is obsession with control. People with money often think it should give them control over other people and their own lives, but it doesn’t. In fact, control is a myth. Control connotes absolute power, and in this world, there’s no such thing. You’ll see in life that there are countless people who waste their lives struggling for control, and the more they demand it, the further they fall from true power. True power comes from management, not control. Management means realizing that you can’t control everybody and everything, and dealing with the world on its own terms – giving a little, taking a little. It works.

By now everybody has heard of some horror story about identity theft from TV shows or magazine articles. In the popular culture, references of identity theft are found in the novels and movies, notably Frederick Forsyth’s novel, “The day of the Jackal” and the 1995 movie “The Net.” In real life, the Identity Theft Resource Center (http://www.idtheftcenter.org) reports 8.9 millions identity theft victims in 2006.

So, what is an identity theft? An identity theft occurs when somebody steals vital pieces of personal information, e.g. your social security, credit card numbers, etc. and uses that information for financial gains by taking your identity. The most common form of identity theft involves credit card and mortgage frauds. But it can also be used for vicious crimes like drug dealings, terrorism, etc.

You may be surprised to know that many minor identity thefts are committed by someone you know. So, don’t make it an easy job for a person to steal your personal information from your wallet, checkbook, etc. Avoid leaving things containing your personal information lying around for others to have an easy access to that information.

Shred, shred, shred. Buy a cheap paper shredder from an office supply store and shred all your paid bills, used check books, etc. before tossing those into the trash. Put aside 30 minutes every Saturday morning for shredding anything that contained your personal information and you intend to trash. Make it a habit.

Never give out your personal information like your social security number; birth date etc. over the phone when the call you received is unsolicited. Your financial institutions have those information and they will not ask you for that. Sometimes, for verification purposes, they make ask you the last four digits of your social security number.

Don’t pay to get anybody to get a copy of your credit report. Because of a congressional mandate, all three-credit report bureaus will give you a copy of your credit report for free every year. Go to AnnualCreditreport.com to obtain your free credit report every year from TransUnion, Equifax, and Experian. While obtaining your free credit report, these bureaus will push some paid services. Just ignore those.

Don’t get your free credit reports from the three bureaus all at the same time. Then you have to wait one year before you can get your reports again for free. In the mean time, some unwanted stuff may show up in your report. Get your free report every four months from each bureau. If you are using a PDA, password protect it to prevent others from accessing it.

Phishing is a popular method to steal sensitive information for identity theft purposes. Don’t be a phishing victim. Avoid clicking on any link that comes to your way through e-mails or IM. The e-mail will disguise itself coming from your financial institutions (your bank or PayPal accounts) and will urge you to click a link to verify your accounts or resort to such other tricks. Sometimes, it can be outright threatening. If you click the link you will end up in the thief’s website. And if you enter your user name and password, the thief will have enough information to log into your actual account.

Open online accounts for all your credit cards and financial accounts. Online accounts are not only convenient for faster bill paying, paperless transactions, etc.; they also help monitor your accounts frequently, instead of waiting for the monthly bill or statement to arrive. Monitor your accounts online every week and if you see any suspicious charges, checks, etc., call you banks immediately. Also setup e-mail based account alerts, if available, to alert you when charges are made to your accounts.

If possible, avoid putting your outgoing mails containing bills and checks in your mailboxes for easy access by a thief. Drop them in mailboxes located in the post office or street corners. Better yet, setup online bill payment with your bank and avoid the snail mail for bill paying.

You also need to keep your computer safe. Thieves can get into computers through spyware and unsecured wireless or network connections. Use anti-spyware programs and turn on your Windows default personal firewall program. To prevent viruses infecting your computer, use an anti-virus program. Setup accounts for each user of your computer and ask them to use strong passwords that include a combination of letters and numbers.

Another way to prevent anybody, including you, from opening any credit in your name is to freeze your credit. This option is not available in all states. If it is available in your state and you opt for this option, you need to lift the block before you allow anybody, e.g. an employer for a new job, creditor for a car loan, etc., to access your credit information. Though it is almost like a foolproof system to prevent identity theft, it is the also the most inconvenient method.